Astrologers Get It Right?

Waiting for Grijalva to strike the Earth, many opinions would have sprung up about whether it was inevitable and what it might mean, and many articles would have been written supporting or decrying these opinions. One such article might have been:


Astrologers Get It Right?

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM27 April

Often relegated to tea-break banter, astrologers seem to provide only the vaguest answers, applicable to any circumstances with hindsight. However, they might be right about Comet Grijalva.

With astronomy still producing equivocal, technical theories about the exact effects of Grijalva, it is no surprise many people are turning to other sky-watchers for answers.

Comets are infrequent visitors to our night skies; infrequent enough that some astrologers do not include them in their calculations. However, others believe they have identified the comet’s power.

Harbingers of Climate Change

Constance Zwick describes comets as signs of upcoming powerful environmental change, suggesting correlations between previous comets and global warming. She predicts this is the final stage of a millennia-long pattern of climate alterations which will culminate in tidal waves and vast alterations in temperature as a giant ball of rock and ice collides with the Pacific Ocean.

Political Upheaval

Orlando De Casivir Morales, in his book Shakespeare: Secret Prophet argues that the Immortal Bard’s plays are actually detailed astrological maps of the future. With the financial irregularities revealed in Denmark showing there was indeed “something rotten in the state of Denmark”, can the world ignore Julius Caesar? When beggars die there are no comets seen; The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes, indeed. Already that modern prince, British democracy, is assailed by calls for temporary suspension of the rule of law. Extinction of the human race could lead to its loss forever.

An Increased Feeling of Tension

Tristram Boone predicts that comets are the signs of a coming change we cannot fully understand. Because the comet brings something entirely new, our strongest experience prior to the comet’s impact on our lives will be a sense of our current troubles being transitory. This might manifest as increased hedonism, or a turning toward religion. With both churches and pubs reporting the need to devote staff purely to controlling the flow of people, it is clear our impending doom has brought a feeling of life’s impermanence.

So, if they are right about the influence of comets, what do we have to look forward to for the rest of the year?

The Rise of a Great Leader

As well as marking the death of princes, comets are alleged to light their births. Two of the five greatest US Presidents, Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin D Roosevelt, might have been born under the influence of a comet. So maybe the children born since April will be catalysts for the predicted political change. But before you spend too much time comparing your baby’s mannerisms and appearance to past leaders, remember that comets are held to exert a subtle influence; your child’s true impact on the world might not be clear during their lifetime.

Strong Impact on Social Bonds

One astrologer, who asked not to be named because seeking publicity would devalue his sacred trust, holds that the key moment will be when the comet enters Cancer on 22 June. This will be when it has its greatest influence upon family, or friendships and other interactions that are similar to family. Relationships that are strong enough to channel the power will become closer, while those that contain flaws will not. However, the strengths and flaws are often hidden, so people should not rely on surface appearances.

Harmless fun, dangerous myth, or guidance from the universe, it is clear Grijalva will exert a huge influence over everyone, sceptic and believer alike.


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About Dave Higgins

Dave Higgins has worked in law and IT for both public and private sector organisations. When not pursuing these hobbies, he writes poetry and speculative fiction. He was born in Wiltshire, England. Raised by a librarian, he started reading shortly after birth and has not stopped since. He currently lives in Bristol with his wife, Nicola, his cats, Jasper and Una, and many shelves of books.

2 thoughts on “Astrologers Get It Right?

  1. Pingback: Is Dave Higgins An Intellectual Snob? | Davetopia

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